Language is never innocent! Words matter 100%

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9 Golden Rules; 7 Absolutely avoid; 9 Safety Nets; 3 Butterfly Nets; the Honey trap

Golden Rules:

  • Change words and change the world
  • Never forget that words matter, that they count
  • Choose words carefully
  • Clarity is essential
  • Check out the subtleties, unintended meanings
  • Be mindful of body language
  • Speak in their language
  • Accept graciously if not able to change the situation
  • Delete ‘should, ought, only, merely, just, try from your vocabulary

Absolutely to avoid:

  • Negative thoughts or approaches
  • Getting the other/s to change instead of us
  • Check out what we are doing first & change that for different results
  • Communicating in the heat of the moment
  • Disregard power potential of words and the potential power of words
  • Triggers from the past: language or communication history
  • Hidden messages
  • Awareness of turnoffs eg words used or non-verbal cues

Safety nets:

  • Setting boundaries
  • Respecting space
  • Pause
  • Breathe
  • Prepare
  • Seeing it differently; using a different perspective
  • Standing in the other’s shoes
  • Respect diversity and different cultures
  • Be inclusive always

Butterfly nets:

  1. I was only joking.
  2. I am very sorry.
  3. I didn’t mean it you know.


Honey traps

So easy to fall right into then you are stuck in a situation that could have been avoided

 IF you had been aware of the trigger.